Fear and misinformation
 through narrow streams of communication,
 lead to the imprisonment of nations.

Blessings, as invitations to your Dharma.

Excerpt from a Dream

The sun was setting as I ascended the hill,
following a forgotten path into the darkest parts of Aokigahara.
As the rays broke through the cacophony of canopy,
all rays seemingly pointed at and focused upon, a structure off to the left past the base of the hill.
As I followed the streams of light,
the nature of the structure emerged;
the outlines of old forgotten masonry and landscaping made themselves available to my awareness.
instantly the presence of the dwelling grew into both the landscape and my mind.

Silently I strode closer.

The air was still and had been since I made it to the top of the hill.
Coming to the front of the shelter, I moved some overgrowth to the side,
to find,
 the results of a garden gone wild.

Here, nature will teach me.
She will show me what she has done,
the symbiosis of order and chaos,
of attention and space.
and when the time comes that the needs of her bounty are beyond her own means,
I will have the wisdom to be the aid she needs.
Without want or need, I'll provide,
Like her wisdom unto me.

Everything I could not yet tell you, flooded my mind.
So easily you put on your front, but the eyes cannot lie.
I could see your fear, not of me, not of you, not of us,
But that deep fear.

The growing, unsettling, feeling ,
that the stories we've been told
of how all of this unfolds.
Just distractions from a process,
which is much more visceral.

That our minds are the culprits,
as much as any "greater unknown"
Yet there is a part within us
that grows.
That knows,

That which is the observer,
to all phenomenon.

Its impulse,
the truth,
lays silent,
buried under years -
of brutal habituated programming.

9-12-07

Sliced, Gashed, Bashed, Cut,
            Laying in my blood,
                        My eyes half shut,
                               Breathing and choking,
                                                Grasping and groping,
                                                               For anything besides my despair;

Laying in my blood,
            Reaching desperately within me,
                              Breathing and choking,
                                               Grasping and groping,
                                                               For anything besides my despair,
                                                                      Nothing comes into the focus of my mind's eye.

Reaching desperately within me,
                Nothing but moths and cobwebs to find,
                              Nothing comes into the focus of my mind's eye,
                                            How cruel fate's trickery!

Nothing but moths and cobwebs,
              But a light then did shine,
                    How cruel, fates trickery!
                             For the light was nothing but a dream...

But then a light did shine,
       Slicing, Gashing, Bashing, Cutting!
                    The light was but from that same dream,
                           My eyes, still half shut.

Reaching desperately within me,
                laying in my blood,
                           How cruel,
                                    Fate's trickery!

9-11-07

                       The Grind

              Kicking and screaming,
            Crashing and spinning,
           My up is down,
          My down is up,
         Which way, is a way, toward luck?

        The poisonous foam suffocates me,
       The salty taste invading,
      Soaking deep within me,
     While I twirl deep within the sea.

    I reach for the surface,
   I will not submit to defeat,
  I gasp,
 Letting reassurance,
Serenity,
 and Peace,
  Infect me,
   Surround me,
    Hold me.
     It is the singular moment, which makes the struggle so worthwhile,
      All the darkness,
       All the pain,
        All the ignorance and disdain,
         Hold nothing,
          Hold no weight,
           juxtaposed to those brief moments,
            Above the sea.

So If I were to slumber eternally, beneath the sea,
My Moments with three,
                          Redeem;

7-09-07

As deep as a puddle, on a midnight stroll,

As bright as the night, when no moon shone,

My mind is nothing but a clutter;

I wander amongst my subconscious,

Exploring the vast caverns and twisting mires of me.


Watching clips of my life fly by.
Searching for answers,
but only more questions do I find...


Wondering if this is what defines me,

Dust encrusted filing cabinets of:

Memories&Dreams
Phosphorus&Brimstone
Deceptions&Disese

                                                              A scattered masterpiece,
once something so unique,

                                                              Now just a tickling explosive,
My mind a, a nervous clutter.


As I wander amongst my subconscious,
I wonder...
Is this what defines me?

1/1/08

Ignorance and Apathy

the two basic catastrophes

which create and control

a stagnant self-serving society;

I am the Yang,
Of your Yin.
The Yin,
That you desperately hide within.

Your vast stillness beckons me,
My flame cannot resist.

Even though you push,
I still feel your pull,

Through that thick, false, haze
 of disinterest.

Through the games of hiding,
 what is within our chests,

Why then,
pretend?
Instead,
embrace death.
Allow the false to die,
Allow the fear to fly,
Allow ourselves, to live and feel,
Without the protective filters
Over our hearts, eyes, and minds.
To embrace the pains, in ways, that only allows us to grow.

I am the Darkness you attempt to hide.

A Template for Temporal Tracks:

Time,
ticks, tricks, rips.
So cruel,
but you already knew.

Life is again,
Brand New.

Old thoughts,
But a New You.

What does it take,
To make or break the mark?
When everyday,
Is a way to make a new start.

What you believe,
alters your sleep.
What you deceive,
alters you deep.
What you receive,
allows you to leap,
With the power and clarity,
to conceive.

I think we've re-met to make the unconscious,
Conscious in each of us.
Inside there are two selves pushing and pulling,
and when those each cease to struggle,
and learn to love and become one-
When the two polar aspects of self become one,
then so too,
can we,
you,
and me, be one.

I had decided some years ago,
that some are probably meant to be alone,
and if that were to be the case,
then surely, I was one.

But then you appeared like fire-lightning on the scene,
and From our very first words, though shared through a screen,
I felt something different, something new,
Something I could not believe.

She has the name of a superhero,
alliterating "M's" fill the skies of my mind,
Something, behind or beyond everyday life,
Guiding our sails, Whispering to our souls.
I've never felt this loss of control before,
I've never been the one to pine,
You truly are a find.
You could read me a recipe,
or even a fast food receipt,
and I'd feel truly complete.

We could just sit on the floor,
and get real real stoned,
or go out into the wilderness to explore.

I want to challenge you,
I want to be challenged by you,
but only for the betterment and uplifting of our souls.

It is only in the face of fear that one can be courageous,
and I've never been more afraid in my life.

Somehow you are both my fear and my courage.
You add a texture to every facet of my being;
The feeling of force like that between two magnets;
Polarity
pulsing,
 pushing,
pulling,
until,
they make contact and align.

I feel as a Moonlilly,
Drowning in your eclipse.

They are the sirens who do not sing, instead,
just with appearance,
lure lost sheep.


But we the willing,
led by the unknown,
will not be thrown off course.

Just as
He,
returned to Penelope,
so shall
We,
return to the state of being free.

Meditate upon the Mediations; Manifesting the Single-Cause, simultaneously across all.
                                                                  Tall and Small.

She was looking for her place in the world; he was looking for his way out.

You open your eyes, and for a moment your mind spars with your senses.
"How can this be reality?
Am I dreaming?"
A seemingly infinite stream of thoughts barrage the forefront of your mind, while your eyes begrudgingly verify what they had sensed the first time.
"CHICK, CHURR, CHURR," The weight of the heavy metal assemblage around you makes itself known through the grueling sounds of metal on metal, grinding and winding, a chorus of manipulated and tortured ore.
"I hate rollercoasters, I've always hated them, how the hell did I get here?"
"I must be dreaming"- The thought maintains your awareness for half a second; an eternity longer than any other thought has since you've opened your eyes, but you know it to be a lie.

In the far distance, hazy with lazy clouds, and a sun that seems too heavy and bruised to stay above the horizon line for much longer, seems to beckon and invite you and your senses to enjoy the colors of their dance.
"CHICK, CHICK, CHURRRRRGGGG" The immensity of your sudden situation brings back your awareness to the most immediate of circumstances; all the while buildings below you grow smaller. What were once people..., and then ants...., are now no more than Muscae Volitantes.
"I never asked for this" you hear yourself mutter aloud as the air gets thinner. You hadn't fully realized that the path of the track, which your fate is now so seemingly intertwined with, was coming to an end.
"CCCCRRRRRREEEEEEAAAAT" The sudden halting of velocity sends an impulse of inertia from the tips of your toes upwards; cascading each and every body part above them in ascending sequence until gaining so much momentum that you fear you may be ripped inside-out. . And then,
.
.
.

Nothing.
.
The hollow-full sound of calm air within the illusion of stillness soothes your ears and swells a coolness around your mind.
You hear an eagle's call, from your far right.
You unclench your knuckles, and force open your eyes.
"Is this peace?"- bubbles up from an otherwise quiet mind.
 You didnt know anyone could see this far before.
Every concern melts into infinitesimally insignificant echos of what once were thoughts. You are unsure if the sun is setting or rising, but it doesn't matter; it is beautiful, and it was always b-
"CHICKKKKK-AAAAA-FOOOOO..'
the brake releases.