Everything I could not yet tell you, flooded my mind.
So easily you put on your front, but the eyes cannot lie.
I could see your fear, not of me, not of you, not of us,
But that deep fear.

The growing, unsettling, feeling ,
that the stories we've been told
of how all of this unfolds.
Just distractions from a process,
which is much more visceral.

That our minds are the culprits,
as much as any "greater unknown"
Yet there is a part within us
that grows.
That knows,

That which is the observer,
to all phenomenon.

Its impulse,
the truth,
lays silent,
buried under years -
of brutal habituated programming.

9-12-07

Sliced, Gashed, Bashed, Cut,
            Laying in my blood,
                        My eyes half shut,
                               Breathing and choking,
                                                Grasping and groping,
                                                               For anything besides my despair;

Laying in my blood,
            Reaching desperately within me,
                              Breathing and choking,
                                               Grasping and groping,
                                                               For anything besides my despair,
                                                                      Nothing comes into the focus of my mind's eye.

Reaching desperately within me,
                Nothing but moths and cobwebs to find,
                              Nothing comes into the focus of my mind's eye,
                                            How cruel fate's trickery!

Nothing but moths and cobwebs,
              But a light then did shine,
                    How cruel, fates trickery!
                             For the light was nothing but a dream...

But then a light did shine,
       Slicing, Gashing, Bashing, Cutting!
                    The light was but from that same dream,
                           My eyes, still half shut.

Reaching desperately within me,
                laying in my blood,
                           How cruel,
                                    Fate's trickery!

9-11-07

                       The Grind

              Kicking and screaming,
            Crashing and spinning,
           My up is down,
          My down is up,
         Which way, is a way, toward luck?

        The poisonous foam suffocates me,
       The salty taste invading,
      Soaking deep within me,
     While I twirl deep within the sea.

    I reach for the surface,
   I will not submit to defeat,
  I gasp,
 Letting reassurance,
Serenity,
 and Peace,
  Infect me,
   Surround me,
    Hold me.
     It is the singular moment, which makes the struggle so worthwhile,
      All the darkness,
       All the pain,
        All the ignorance and disdain,
         Hold nothing,
          Hold no weight,
           juxtaposed to those brief moments,
            Above the sea.

So If I were to slumber eternally, beneath the sea,
My Moments with three,
                          Redeem;

7-09-07

As deep as a puddle, on a midnight stroll,

As bright as the night, when no moon shone,

My mind is nothing but a clutter;

I wander amongst my subconscious,

Exploring the vast caverns and twisting mires of me.


Watching clips of my life fly by.
Searching for answers,
but only more questions do I find...


Wondering if this is what defines me,

Dust encrusted filing cabinets of:

Memories&Dreams
Phosphorus&Brimstone
Deceptions&Disese

                                                              A scattered masterpiece,
once something so unique,

                                                              Now just a tickling explosive,
My mind a, a nervous clutter.


As I wander amongst my subconscious,
I wonder...
Is this what defines me?

1/1/08

Ignorance and Apathy

the two basic catastrophes

which create and control

a stagnant self-serving society;