What is greater than Love?

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 That is what I seek. 

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The town which cried, "Serpent!"

 I am so tired of villagers inviting me into their lives,
all their pretense and appearance but a bundle of lies.
Their true intention is to have me play the part of serpent,
to place the blame solely on me,
for the destruction of things they themselves cannot stand,
but did not have the strength to end themselves.

But I've never been the snake,
despite my slick and split tongue,
I've never been the serpent,
despite always being on the run.
Long ago I discarded the need to be seen clearly,
too much time was wasted vainly, trying to make my case..


Teachers and bosses, all gave me that same eye,
projecting all their shadowshit,
but still I took it in stride...

I thought with time this game would pass,
but I still feel their desiring for my darkest parts.

We all know the story of the boy who cried wolf,
and how that affected his relationship with his tribe...

but what of the village who cried serpent?
How many decades can the boy who is called serpent hold true to himself?
How has this affected his relationship with his tribe?

From Logos with Love:

 Perhaps I am possessed
by the Logos and the mind,
For I distrust my passions and the desires deep inside.
They have almost always, seemingly, lead me toward despair,
But the intensity, and deepness of,
this fire can't be bared..

When my life was turned upside down,
An adventurer finally worn,
discarded by the world outside,
compelled back indoors..
As an old and hardened dog by trade,
walking lonely roads,
with my tattered tail between my legs,
required to return home.

I dove deeply into stoicism and eastern mystic rites,
Tantric incantations and hidden magick in the night.
Demanding entry into heaven,
by means of will and might.
Foolishly, ferociously, failing everytime,

despite the flickering glimpses of divinity and of light.
Finding out instead, that this was not the way ahead..
I tore off all extraneous and unnecessary ways,
thinking I had freed myself,
from my youthful foolish days...

All desires transmuted into the desire to be free,
and then came that fated day where we were meant to meet.

My story, my struggles, all came flowing out,
haphazardly, like a torrent storm, where once was only drought.

You just breathed so simply,
and offered me your grace.
You said unto me,
"What are the lessons that you need to integrate?"
and I swear that in that moment,
that time had aligned,
and somehow I could hear your eyes.
and taste your wondrous mind.

Who'd have guess that such a simple call,
would be the chink in my cold and hardened stoic soul.

Diving deeply into your voice,
submerged within your mind,
even after all this time,
this desire has not resigned.

You have been the only one,
who resonates so clear,
that even after all this time,
I still long to have you near.

To feel such desire,
the longing for and sharing of,
-spontaneously simple smiles-
to indulge in our most prophetic depths,
I longed to taste you more,
and despite this hornets nest of messy emotionality,
I resisted all the while, thinking it a test of my being.

I tried to separate my longing with your needs,
to provide you objective teachings,
which had previously served me.

And yet all the while,

My fingers longed to trace your face,
your lips,
to neck, then breasts...
down so slowly,
oh so slowly,
snaking, sliding, smoothly down,
till they found the space, between your thighs...
harkening out to me for my masculine strength.

Holding there,
until your breath,
freezes with anticipation,
feeling all your body's quakes and ecstatic undulations.

And as I dared to explore your folds,
you'd exhale so deeply
that we would both just explode, into sweet serenity.

A Simultaneous, Serendipitous, Sweet symphony,
Your sweet sweet nectar saturates
my entire rhythmic being.
transmuting with the base and heart,
material and mater,
freeing both our souls with ecstatic tantric power.

Writhing and wrestling,
playful and divine,
all else just seems to fade,
including cruel, cruel, time.

Just like dancers we are not distracted by anticipation of the end,
there is no racing, there is no goal,
just the interplay of our bodies and souls.

As the layers of projection and appearance melt away,
We reveal ourselves,
in ourselves,
to each other, and our true energetic ways.

I want to make you howl,
to fill you with my power,
to allow both the beast and god,
to integrate and flower.

I wish things were different,
that I had material material wealth,
if that were the case,
long ago,
I'd have rushed headlong toward you...

But I'm torn between my longing,
and my felt responsibility...

How could I allow for love, without offering material security?
A hangup of our culture?  Perhaps this is the case,
But I feel the fire deep inside you,
and I want to keep it safe.

To give it space and freedom to,
play and integrate,
To be able to provide you with a space,
to be free and full of grace,
to not have to worry about these silly stupid games,
that humans made of bills and time,
wasting so much space.

Perhaps you do not feel the same,
and that's okay if that's the case,
For I am just a simple wildflower,
longing for sweet Eros' embrace.

And if things unfold and we never know
the realization of eachother's taste,
meeting you has reignited in me,
the possibility of something great.

That love exists and despite my flaws,
despite my strangest life,
there is at least one soul who deeply knows,
the importance of the cultivation of the great silent grace.

Dreams of tantric union,
of Anarchic interplay,
they torment me for oh so long,
and cannot be erased.

Even just the words we've shared,
have elevated my soul,
I hope one day we get to meet,
instead of regretting that which we
"could have"
once known.

3D & Audio/Visual works:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCy4Lc0bpue7iw54pQlFQGkg

For a Friend:

 Ive been thinking about our conversation yesterday and trying to figure out a way to formulate my thoughts and feelings in a meaningful way. I just want to offer these words as a path of inquiry for you, a “yes and” or “what if” to the proclamations of “the world is illusion” and “everything is just a reflection of you.”

As you know I have had multiple experiences and prolonged chapters of my life where those two quoted statements were absolutely irrefutable for me… Some of them were positive and uplifting, others were horrific and terrifying…

But in each case the truth of “living in illusions” and “we are all reflections” was absolutely obvious, it was not just an intellectual thing, but a realization with one’s entire being… There have also been many times where I felt I had glimpses through illusion, and also many times of feeling -with the same certainty and conviction of the times of total connection- that I was completely disconnected, alone, an island to one’s own… Day to day, that feeling seems to be able to sway and arbitrarily settle somewhere along the spectrum of total unity and total isolation.. Is it possible for a universe to exist where both can be true? What undue suffering do we take upon ourselves by only accepting one side of that spectrum as true, and disregarding all the rest?

Two main points come to mind which may either further confuse or clarify things…

The first point, and I think the most problematic, is that everything, EVERYTHING - from our experiences of the external world, to our explorations of the inner world, all of that and everything between- happens in and is mediated by our nervous systems and brain… To even say “external world” is problematic, because all sights, sounds, tastes, all of that is created within our own skin.. It is like a frosted windowpane which colors and shapes all things… It is arguably an inescapable unity… We are always operating from within a unity(the biological being known as human), but even that unity is composed of an innumerable amount of disparate parts [ex: the human body contains more non-human cells (viruses, bacteria, etc) than human cells]

So perhaps we can think of our experience as being fueled by at least two things, all the time, simultaneously :

1. Our biological energy/ biological processing 

And
2. The energy which we receive as sense impressions from the external world… 

Both are needed to create and mediate our experiences.. Could it be that like a cocktail, the ratio of these forces may change and when they change so does the nature of our experience?

For example if our biological energy is at a higher ratio, has a greater prevalence in the mix, then everything has that unshakable flavor of unity.. But if the sensory energy is of a higher ratio, then the leading flavor is that of separation..

Now the second point, which like I said may confuse or clarify the discussion is related to the phrase, “As Above, So Below”

This one is a bit harder to formulate because it relies upon the insights bestowed upon us from a deep contemplation of the external world, and we have just explored how even calling it that is perhaps a disservice to understanding….but nonetheless!

At the very least it seems to be the case that the universe, the world, goes through changes, and the nature of those changes, despite all the intricacies, is again that of one which shifts from unity to multiplicity: the early universe seemingly spawning from a single point, expanding and transforming into many different particles and things, until those pieces re-formed into new, previously inexistent center of unity (stars, planets, etc) and then with time those centers of unity also break down creating more multiplicity… A seemingly unending set of Matryoshka dolls (those Russian dolls that have more inside them) alternating between unity and multiplicity, one nested within, and then birthing the other… it goes on and on and on…

Not one(not unity), not two (not multiplicity), that is the nature of the Non-Dual… Our minds have evolved for certainty- survival has been based on our ability to choose and exclude, to emphasize duality… but if we can now find a way to decrease the need for certainty, perhaps ironically it can lead us closer to that which is true...