Like a fish in water... 3/14/2010

If there is anything that I've learned throughout all my life it's that perception can make or brake this life. Our consciousness organizes and categorizes on levels we are not even capable of perceiving consciously, but if we focus on how we interpret things we can allow ourselves to become free.

During one of my escapes from reality, the walls of my house had another layer just about a centimeter away from the physical wall.
This layer was like a wall of its own, but was an interconnected web of geometric shapes.
While inspecting the room I noticed that this pattern continued onto the floor covering the carpet and most other large surfaces. During the times I stopped my mind from its own wanderings, and looked upon this veil or covering, its shape would change from something pleasant to something which made my insides churn...

The shapes morphed into strange insect-like faces which filled me with fear. I found myself on my knees and I could see these horrific face-shapes on my floor squirm into my body. I watched as my veins and skin bumped in tandem with the little devils- from where it touched the floor up my arm until I could take no more.

Losing myself again in a psychedelic-fractal-thought-form.

When I came back to what could arguably be called reality, I noticed that the shapes upon the wall were back to their original shape, and happily bouncing.

This time I looked at the patterns with wonder and appreciation, understanding that it was a part of me, as much as I was a part of it. The shapes then lulled, the space in-between the lines of the shapes grew. I felt a wave of euphoria sweep across my body. The shapes then took a face-form again but this time one of a jovial nature...

For at least 6 hours this process repeated, switching each time from positive to negative. Immersed completely in the depth of each feeling. I was that feeling. Each feeling was me.

During this time. though I was submerged in illusion and believed these images to be higher beings with a consciousness of their own- I wasn't far off, but not quite on either.

For they were merely the visual projections of the mind. They are active all the time, they were visual manifestations of the algorithms of the visual processing systems. Emotion, cognition, and perception are not nearly, so neatly separated as your school books would lead you to believe...

When your brain is super-pumped, your best tool becomes your master. You cannot control the places it goes, it controls you.

THIS IS LIBERATION. liberation from the things we are taught to believe. Liberation from the false beliefs which barrage us all from birth...Liberation from the machinations and confines of your own mind.

Everyday, people do it.
They create the same scenarios,
different faces, but the same outcome,
never really thinking much of it.
The answers are always right there,
SCREAMING for your attention,
but you just speed by,
your mind just too damn preoccupied
with the comfortable thoughts its always habitually think-feel-perceiving.

I write this part as therapy for my regaining clarity, part for those who may find themselves thrown out into the great sea, but also just to share a bit of the treasures I was able to return with

Those morphing geometric face-shapes directly mirror the minds ability to morph reality. I'm not talking about psychedelic reality- I'm talking about the 9 -5 grind, the mundane, disinterested, the sober, pragmatic mind. The people and places you go, the food you eat, the place you live. Everything you need is already inside of you, its just a matter of taking responsibility, relaxing the body, the emotions, and the mind. Do not strive to live life like you are some righteous omnipotent being...

Are your brave enough and strong enough to live open, perceptive, responsive, and free from habitual programming?

This life is here for us to all enjoy it! LOVE IT! let go of your dogmatic views and do what it is you were born to do..

3-24-2010

 This universe is but one of innumerable flare-flames,
placed against impossible odds,
sustaining and expanding in the face of a
termless-
timeless-
void.

God is black,
and she is emptiness.

Suffering Starved

Strange,
how my request to no longer share our sorrows,
has brought on a deafening wall of silence.

What is to be said of a friendship that was held together
by nothing but the sharing of our mutual suffering?

3-19-2014 (2)

 

When the darkness unveils,

Light, once lost,

Shall again prevail.

And will ring out

In a chorus of common welfare.

Fear reeks and runs red,

But love, even of the smallest amount,

Shall be more than fear

Can bare.

3-19-2014

 

Forget not your spirit!

That which beats and breathes!

Forget not that which you have had,

Since your time, conceived.

It came before constructs

Of action, space, and time,

And remains with you,

Although it hides.

Forget not your soul,

In our soulless roles,

And instead hold true

To your intrinsic values.

Apart from money, from status,

From all this insane game,

Hold true to your vision!

Your heart!

Till your spirit is aflame!

The Power of Presence

When I am fully present,
with absolutely no preference,
open and aware,
only then do I become unstoppable.

The Paradox

By consciously doing the same thing each day,
I deeply change.

The Judge and Guardian of the sea

 It was as if I had suddenly found myself, locked outside of myself.

All the years, energy, and resources I had invested in my own protection,
now were the only things barricading the progression of my newfound direction.

I tried in vain to push, to break,
to sneak, to burrow,
but my security system was truly unconquerable.

And then, just by chance,
you were walking by, and met my eye.

Perhaps you too had been where I was now;
Pounding so heavily on the door to yourself,
till knuckles were bloody,
and bone spurs shot out...

Wondering in vain,
how you happened to be locked outside,
and longing so deeply to go,
to return within.
To abide and reside.

In your peace and testament to character and heart,
You shared with me how to sculpt the perfect key.

While others were selling,
only the iron for exorbitant fees, wrapped with deep religious trappings...
and in truth, they had never even made a key!

Despite all this,
despite the landscape of inexhaustible material hunger,
You compassionately shared your time, your energy, and your wisdom,
and you've helped me to sculpt my perfect key.

Enough time has passed now,
I am humbled in knowing,
there is no way I can repay you,
for something which is beyond all value.

All I hope I can do,
is to honor you.
By stopping anytime I see someone pounding on their door,
and I will give them my time,
my energy, and OUR wisdom,
so that they can also sculpt their own perfect key.

Thank you,
I am eternally thankful to you, for all you chosen to share with me.

The nature relation of Mind, Truth, Time, and life in the 3D

 The Mind always wants us to find
THE truth,
THE answer,
THE solution,
but the more one pays attention to their own mind,
the minds of others,
and the unfolding of life,
one can see quite clearly that any timeless, single truth,
is meaningless when applied to our daily lives.
It is all about half-truths,
seasons of truths,
and the interplay of a thing - and its opposite, simultaneously.

By being present, aware, and dynamic we are able to indentify the patterns and truths
that life requests of us.

What was once a salve, is now a poison. What was once a toxin,
now our only hope.

To be able to honor the requests of life, to honor the themes of the season-
to be able to recapitulate without it feeling like our foundations are crumbling, or that we are somehow stumbling.
Because in fact,
we are remaining open to adapt,
open to new paradigms.
Dynamic, responsive, aware, and exact.

3/9/2011

Time kills all things,

so sometimes,

I like to get even,

and kill a little time.

4/6/2011

 Looking outwards, its written everywhere:

The seasons,
the elliptical helical pattern of the planets,
our daily rotation of night and day;
Life, both above and below, is a string of moments guided by cycles and patterns,
and when things get real low,
remember that a new cycle is about to begin.

Truth and Mystery will always disrobe illusions of Security and Certainty

 The truth has always been far more beautiful, and far stranger,
than any fantasy concocted of shadow or light.

By spreading your bullshit,
regurgitating fantasy,
"BUT I SAW IT ON YOUTUBE"
You disrespect reality.

You spit in the face of
Geb and Nut,
Ground and sky,
Past and Present,
and all Future minds.

You dishonor the faculties gifted unto you,
at the time of your birth.

Hark and see that your fantasy only holds you back.
Reality is far grander than any performative egoistic act.

Expand your awareness,
Do not fear the mystery,
Dive in,
She longs to be seen.

Preachers of truth will never hold a flame-
To those who are perennial seekers of truth, ignoring fame.

Priests and Preachers "know"..
and they act and speak according to their dogma and preconceived bullshit.

Scientists and Mystics "know not" and are eternally refreshed by experience, what is felt, learned, loved, seen, and become.

Expand your awareness,
Do not fear the mystery,
Dive in,
She longs to be seen.
 

Hark and see that your fantasy only holds you back.
Reality is far grander than any performative egoistic act.

The truth has always been far more beautiful, and far stranger,
than any fantasy concocted of shadow or light.