Turn your cells into doors:

 Part of what makes life harder as we get older, is that challenges, setbacks, betrayals, and "ill fate" of all ilk are never experienced as just a single event. Whenever a new scenario arises it is irrevocably tied to past defeats and roadblocks. Thereby creating a web through time and space spun with pain, shame, and memory. This web is experienced as the running/repeating narratives in our lives and minds:

"THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME!"

"WHY CANT I JUST SEEM TO CATCH A BREAK?!"

Many times, the tribulations experienced throughout the duration of life DO repeat. Themes and obstacles recur. This adds a weight to whatever "new" experience arises. The greater one's recollection, the greater the weight, the greater the pain.

But there is a reason they are called narratives. They are stories... and as we know, stories aren't real... At best they are something used to communicate the real, but stories in and of themselves are only representation. Changing the narrative does not change the facts of life, but it changes the way we interface and interact with life.

When we are children, we don't even know what challenges are, everything is what it is, and whatever the nature of the child is, the child reacts to life thusly.I will speak of myself here because I feel it will illustrate the point better than dealing in generalizations.

For me, everything was an adventure, uncertainty did not mean prepare for pain, it meant that treasure could be round the bend. Objects and people come and go, that's how life goes! No bed, no problem, its a party now! No power, that's okay, we've got candles, how cool is inside fire?! None of this is to say that I was never sad, or scared, or anything like that, of course I was, but what was different was the way I naturally interacted with events that I now would find devastating... Is this ego? I think so. Ego can hide in our sorrow and misery as much as in our arrogance and self-righteousness.

So what is a narrative in your life that has become another metal bar in the pristine prison cell you've created for yourself?

What is a new narrative that could take its place?

As a general example many people believe that they are never loved as much as they love others. This can be a real tricky narrative because one starts to see it and then expect it in every relation. What is unrealized, is that this narrative actively blocks love from flowing freely. There are many narratives which could replace this, but it is of the upmost importance for each person to construct their own new narrative.

So to continue the example, one could identify the problematic narrative of: "No one ever loves me as much as I love them." After identifying and formulating the narrative, it could be replaced with:
"It is important to me that I am as loving as possible in a way that respects others boundaries and my own well-being."

Do you see the difference? Emphasis is shifted from what others are or aren't doing, to what one wants to do in a healthy way. It is not reliant on others agreement or objection, and yet, takes their intent into consideration. The first narrative is a jail cell, the second is an open door.