Beyond the boundaries of what is known, in the face of time we are all so small:

 If there is such a thing as past lives,

then I know I've shared a thousand with you...

So easily we fall in and out of tune.


Perhaps we've always gotten stuck on the chorus,

some catastrophe always comes right before the bridge, rushing like a torrent,

you go your way and I go mine, each of us always wondering, "Wait, what? Why?!"


So when I hear that song come on, and find we are once again dancing to chorus,

I secretly tend to my heart's wish, "we can make it to the bridge"

"We can make it this time."

and if we don't make it, that's fine too,

at least we get to dance once again,

empowered by song and moon.

Negrado

 How is it that life continually finds new ways to decimate me, without actually putting me out of my misery?

Since 2018 I have been obstructed, destroyed, annihilated, bound, humiliated, and continually thrown upside down...

I have tried in vain to change everything.
Yet I still remain.

Only after making positive changes am I rewarded with more sickness and setbacks.
The goals and objectives our collective selves have defined as important- as worth orienting around
and toward,
they do nothing for me.
All comes with a cost I am unwilling, or perhaps, unable to pay.

Suffering comes no matter what your works, no matter the integrity of your heart.
We must face them, they are gifts wrapped in pain and great sorrow,
yet if we can steady ourselves,
inside there is gold.
Inside there is gold.

Keep going.

Reap and Sow your feelings:

 The freedom of being a kid on your bike in a world where cells phones dont exist.

Even though you didn't have true freedom, your ignorance only added to that FEELING of freedom.

Cultivate feelings.

Mindfully sow,

And the reap is grander than gold.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you stare at a cloud until it disappears, but then you blink,
and you find the cloud had been there all along.

All of your senses cut out the constant. Things which change and move are of most importance to survival Familiarity dims the resolution and depth of our sensory experience of the world.

This carries over to our psychological functioning.
This is why travel is so powerful,
everything is fresh,
dynamic,
your mental maps cannot help you in new territory...

>..And yet so many spend their days doing the same thing, going to the same place, over and over again until their sphere of their awareness shrinks to a pinhole...

Expand your sphere of awareness.

Allow yourself to feel past the boundaries of your skin.

Even in a sea of familiarity cultivate those feelings of freedom from the past,

they will help you to see the path through quagmires and densely packed trees.

On Gnosticism

 When referring to Gnosticism I am speaking about the organized belief system under that moniker, not to be confused with the umbrella belief in deity.
 To accept Gnosticism as the universal truth is similar to accepting the theory that each of us and this entire universe is a simulation in an advanced computer. They are both ignorant reductionist projections of the functions of the psyche, rather than a reflection of how the world IS.

 For example, one of the main tennets of Gnosticism is that this is a fallen world, that a small speck of the light of divinity exists within everything, but it is all obscured, perverted, we exist within a demiurge that eternally seeks to eat the light that created it.

This narrative certainly may have elements or themes which reflect some truth of existence, but it is actually a better analogy to the nature of thoughts that are made manifest A few examples of what I mean, a mythic character or story is written in an age, and all time goes on the next generations create, recreate, reinvent, and even create entirely new mythic characters and stories based on the previous. Each reincarnation and reinvention of the motif or character takes it further from the source or what it was made to be. So much time passes that the original message, meaning, power is lost, and what is left is only a blunted nub.

One such example is that of the Sun/Sun God. Ra, Apollo, Dionysus, Jesus, and then Superman, yes superman. Other characters throughout time and in our present age also are recapitulations of this thread of myth. Think of the fullness of the story, character, and meaning of the character Jesus, and then compare that to Superman. Even though the latter has a voluminous library of material, the character is nowhere near as "complete" "whole" nor "powerful" (psychologically speaking) as that of Jesus (note: I am not a Christian or Catholic or anything of the like).

Another Example of Gnosticism being a better mapping of the nature of a thought through time rather than a schematic of reality is Rome. Before Rome existed it was but an idea. By great and terrible action Rome became a reality, it is still a reality! But The Rome which manifested was less than the Rome contemplated, and the Rome today is far less than the Rome of yesterday.

I think it is important for us as individuals to look to life, to engage with the mystery, to look for patterns, to contemplate, to dream, but when we take that step into deciding we KNOW the nature of the mystery, or some metaphysical blueprint, or the essence of soul, spirit, of the transcendent itself, we do ourselves and others a disservice.

Why is it a disservice? Because it is wrong, whatever is assumed to be true, it is wrong. It can be written in a hundred million different places throughout time, or only once in a rare text, either way it will be wrong, it will not be the complete picture. I know this because humanity (as far as we know) has never been complete. In all places and all times we've been enshrouded in ignorance, dogma, "common-sense", religion, and all matters of systems and influences which beat and shape and shield the individuals from reality. Even those who have gone out by great faith and determination to discard themselves to gain the world, they too are still enshrouded. Encased in the stop-gap, limitation of biological necessity and perceptual crunch.

"THEY HAVE COME"

 Mass media: tv, movies, songs, books that hit a certain amount of exposure have a strange way of foretelling events. The Simpsons being one of the most popularly identified vehicles for such things. Many have said that the hit show 24 having the president that it did, either helped, fueled, or foretold the coming rise of Barack Obama.

I grew up on superheros... when I graduated, my father asked me what I wanted, and I said i wanted his boxes of old yellowed comic books.

There is a power in those series of squares, and interfacing of imagination and image which is not experienced in other forms.

I've been thinking a lot about the rise and dominance of the marvel movies.. Growing up, interest in these things would make you an easy target, immediately ostracized as a "nerd".

Don't get me wrong, I'm not sour about it, I'm just curious what it means, or what it could be revealing from our collective unconscious...

Even a brief google or wiki search will show that the first cloning studies started taking place in the late 1800's.

By the 1970's we were rolling with genetic engineering by means of controlling and manipulating genetic expression.

By 2003 we had 92% of the human genome sequenced.

and finally in 2020 we reached 100%.

What if our current captivation with these myths and stories are a foretelling of what is to come (sooner rather than later)

Doing a search on companies investing or researching both AI and genetics is.. strange and concerning.

Did you know that radiation was a fundamental part of sequencing the genome?

How many of our superheros have an origin story which involves radiation, genetic experimentation, or advanced artificial intelligence?

It would then seem most likely, that the first (and perhaps only) people to utilize the coming coherence of these field would be those with the greatest wealth and influence.

Their offspring would be guaranteed positions of power and influence.

We stopped believing in God, and instead it seems we are hellbent on creating our own.

from 2018:

https://blogs.microsoft.com/ai/crispr-gene-editing/

c.y.o.m

 Creating your own myth is not about fantasy,
it is an alignment of all your senses and experience into image and cohesion.

The more sensitive you become to your being,
the more perceptive you become of the inner energies.

What you do from there, is entirely up to you,
but without those finer sensitivities,
even the most vivid words,
would be proof not; only illusions.

The Sun is a scorpion,
The Spider, a moon,
You cannot tell me otherwise,
For I've seen it to be true.

And although to me its so,
for you it may be quite different,
But there is no way to truly know,
unless you fix your vision.
Allow it to flow, don't turn it to stone.

Discard all the maps and songs- that claim to know the way,
Who's god of what,
which force and pole,
forget,
all that they say.

Construct yourself,
build and play,
ever-refining-your-vision
Perhaps you'll find a map or two,
which share- sympathetic and synergistic.

Feel the streams deep beneath,
the layers of hurt and protection,
notice how you've blocked yourself,
A constant physical constriction.

All you need to do is breathe,
aligning with your spine
all the time.

For Your Consideration:

 There are more galaxies than people.

Life on earth is older than the lifespan of most star types in the universe.

Do you see the implications?

Keep Rollin'

 I am the stone that was thrown,
and I've been rolling ever since.

Forged, Not Born:

 Sage's are not born,
 they are forged.

Longing only to see things as they really are.
They discard the worries of the world.

"Every generation thinks its the end of the world"

For all the flaws in jung's assessment of the functioning of the mind, in great foresight he foretold that the coming evil was man, from within man himself, and if we as a species could not figure out the functioning of consciousness, we would be both victim and perpetrator of our own collective demise.

In a way, to do the work for one's self is easy, once it is integrated as a way of life... but how to share and show another? These things can't be said, they must be known, recognized, seen immediately and with clarity. Words are far too opaque, static, tyrannical. Experience, awareness, and presence are the key.

-NOW-

 Devoid of "why"
immersed in "IS"

Finally, nothing more need be said.

Glimpses of Descartes and Derrida across a mountain stream

Indeed after much reflection, I can see that actually, I do not think. If one argues that I or they do actually think, from where do their thoughts come?

It seems readily clear that a more accurate statement would be that the thinking (at least appears) to happen within me.

I am not the thinker, I am probably downstream of that process, and yet I am also a sort of gatekeeper acting as a filter of what gets expressed and what fallsback into the sea from whence all thoughts arise.

Unfortunately everything that I've stated above is from the perspective and very limited vantage point of the consciously-awake, semi-self-aware, "I am" EGO consciousness... Which is but the pinprick of the tip of the iceberg of the consciousness of the total Self.

Desire, Progress, Evolution

The act of pursuing the reduction of desire first works against its own aim by birthing an entirely new desire, that is, the desire to be free of desires.


This is not a paradox, although our minds want to take it so. Instead it is pointing to something of great value. It is pointing to a general way of doing things which may seem counter-intuitive at first.


Once that new desire is born, it can be used to against the others, and yet when one takes that newly birthed desire upon itself, it allows for the proliferation of all other desires. (If your desire to remove desires is focused on that specific desire, then all other desires are outside that scope and can grow and propagate.)

This is where a guru or something would say that this shows that one cannot escape desire, that it is a paradox, but in this proclamation I think they turn pearls to coal and ash.

The formula of birthing a variation of a thing, to remove or reduce all the other previous/simultaneous variations is exactly how work is done, how progress is made. It is how life propagates and advances, we sometimes call this pattern- evolution.


An understanding of this formula allows one to tackle any sort of problem in any area of their life. For example, let us leave the intellectual world of thoughts and desires and deal with something more grounded and mundane. Let us say that there is someone who suffers from great bodily pain in their everyday life... Whether this be from old age or previous injury, it does not matter. They have pain, and they want, they NEED a solution. Do you see how we can apply the formula of desire and its reduction to this phenomena? If so, then what is the answer? What is the solution for this person's suffering? Is it by removing all things which cause them pain? No. Yet so many conduct themselves in this way, and that is why the pain stays. They need to birth a new pain. A pain that has never been before... It is a willful and targeted constructive suffering and inducement of pain. Some, may call this exercise, or yoga, or whatever system of using the body in such a way that temporary pain brings longterm gains.

Desire never ceases,
Pain never fades,
Yet if we are skillful captains,
We can use them to sail the waves.

11-10-2010

 

Last night I dreamed a dream of lucidity.

Realizing this feat,

I tried to create,

a rocket-launcher,

or grenade,

but was met with defeat.

Instead I was transported,

to a time in the past.

Lunchtime, in between

my 7th and eighth grade class,

There I could turn invisible,

but I was forever trapped,

in that white walled,

fluorescent lit,

sticky-fly-trap.

Through the labrynth of language- meaning and truth slithers from light into all the dark places:

 When one asks the way,
and subtle means will not do,
As soon as a word is spoken,
it unknowingly excludes.

Any protocol, any philosophy,
or way of life, starts with a schism,
between wrong and right.

Even non-dualists, who claim to incorporate everything,
begin from that pesky "non", starting from a negation, thereby excluding anything dualistic.

If I simply say that one must be open to life,
those words, almost by will of their own,
fully outside my intent,
creates a schism and an implied resistance toward anything "closed"
or viewed as hindering one's experience of the openness of life.

Is this a limitation of language or of our temporal comprehension? Of Human understanding or universal happening?

Now let us try very carefully:

Can you be open and present to life in a way that openness and presence includes the parts where we or others are closed or distant?

Can we remain aware of ourselves and our lives as the present moment unfolds AND remain aware of the moments and spans of time where we are unwillingly submerged in ignorance and all has seemingly refolded?


To surrender and flow with life in a such a way that includes timely forcing and might, but only when the flow suggests?

Life is a labrythn

Life is a labyrinth with death at its center.

The difference between a maze and a labyrinth is that labyrinths have a single continuous path which inevitably leads to the center. As long as you keep going forward, you will get there eventually. Mazes have multiple paths which branch off and will not necessarily lead one to the center.

Life is not a maze, but a labyrinth who's center houses Death.

 Parastalgia - Nostalgia for what could have been.

Shadow-Stabbers

 I find it infinitely disheartening that is seems that masses of people silently wait for the moment where their cruelty can be expressed "righteously". Using any excuse or scenario as a justification for them to take a false position of authority while dehumanizing whomever it is they decided is their target. This is why working on ourselves is key. This is why healing is paramount. This is why we must be able to see ourselves clearly before we can assume we know anything about that which lays beyond the boundaries of our skin.

The Silent Song of Modern Times

It is as if we are entangled, entrapped, engulfed and encased,
Disconnected in despair, with distances beyond compare.
Excavated layers of truth only expose, the seething toxicity of our institutions and those in their throes.


And inside so many there is a silent song which longs.
Which wants nothing more than to discard all that's false and wrong,
Which is primed to reignite and reconnect,
to the simple things, of true merit.

Enantiodromia

 The means of liberation for one generation,
Become the chains and tools of domination for the next.

What is greater than Love?

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The town which cried, "Serpent!"

 I am so tired of villagers inviting me into their lives,
all their pretense and appearance but a bundle of lies.
Their true intention is to have me play the part of serpent,
to place the blame solely on me,
for the destruction of things they themselves cannot stand,
but did not have the strength to end themselves.

But I've never been the snake,
despite my slick and split tongue,
I've never been the serpent,
despite always being on the run.
Long ago I discarded the need to be seen clearly,
too much time was wasted vainly, trying to make my case..


Teachers and bosses, all gave me that same eye,
projecting all their shadowshit,
but still I took it in stride...

I thought with time this game would pass,
but I still feel their desiring for my darkest parts.

We all know the story of the boy who cried wolf,
and how that affected his relationship with his tribe...

but what of the village who cried serpent?
How many decades can the boy who is called serpent hold true to himself?
How has this affected his relationship with his tribe?

From Logos with Love:

 Perhaps I am possessed
by the Logos and the mind,
For I distrust my passions and the desires deep inside.
They have almost always, seemingly, lead me toward despair,
But the intensity, and deepness of,
this fire can't be bared..

When my life was turned upside down,
An adventurer finally worn,
discarded by the world outside,
compelled back indoors..
As an old and hardened dog by trade,
walking lonely roads,
with my tattered tail between my legs,
required to return home.

I dove deeply into stoicism and eastern mystic rites,
Tantric incantations and hidden magick in the night.
Demanding entry into heaven,
by means of will and might.
Foolishly, ferociously, failing everytime,

despite the flickering glimpses of divinity and of light.
Finding out instead, that this was not the way ahead..
I tore off all extraneous and unnecessary ways,
thinking I had freed myself,
from my youthful foolish days...

All desires transmuted into the desire to be free,
and then came that fated day where we were meant to meet.

My story, my struggles, all came flowing out,
haphazardly, like a torrent storm, where once was only drought.

You just breathed so simply,
and offered me your grace.
You said unto me,
"What are the lessons that you need to integrate?"
and I swear that in that moment,
that time had aligned,
and somehow I could hear your eyes.
and taste your wondrous mind.

Who'd have guess that such a simple call,
would be the chink in my cold and hardened stoic soul.

Diving deeply into your voice,
submerged within your mind,
even after all this time,
this desire has not resigned.

You have been the only one,
who resonates so clear,
that even after all this time,
I still long to have you near.

To feel such desire,
the longing for and sharing of,
-spontaneously simple smiles-
to indulge in our most prophetic depths,
I longed to taste you more,
and despite this hornets nest of messy emotionality,
I resisted all the while, thinking it a test of my being.

I tried to separate my longing with your needs,
to provide you objective teachings,
which had previously served me.

And yet all the while,

My fingers longed to trace your face,
your lips,
to neck, then breasts...
down so slowly,
oh so slowly,
snaking, sliding, smoothly down,
till they found the space, between your thighs...
harkening out to me for my masculine strength.

Holding there,
until your breath,
freezes with anticipation,
feeling all your body's quakes and ecstatic undulations.

And as I dared to explore your folds,
you'd exhale so deeply
that we would both just explode, into sweet serenity.

A Simultaneous, Serendipitous, Sweet symphony,
Your sweet sweet nectar saturates
my entire rhythmic being.
transmuting with the base and heart,
material and mater,
freeing both our souls with ecstatic tantric power.

Writhing and wrestling,
playful and divine,
all else just seems to fade,
including cruel, cruel, time.

Just like dancers we are not distracted by anticipation of the end,
there is no racing, there is no goal,
just the interplay of our bodies and souls.

As the layers of projection and appearance melt away,
We reveal ourselves,
in ourselves,
to each other, and our true energetic ways.

I want to make you howl,
to fill you with my power,
to allow both the beast and god,
to integrate and flower.

I wish things were different,
that I had material material wealth,
if that were the case,
long ago,
I'd have rushed headlong toward you...

But I'm torn between my longing,
and my felt responsibility...

How could I allow for love, without offering material security?
A hangup of our culture?  Perhaps this is the case,
But I feel the fire deep inside you,
and I want to keep it safe.

To give it space and freedom to,
play and integrate,
To be able to provide you with a space,
to be free and full of grace,
to not have to worry about these silly stupid games,
that humans made of bills and time,
wasting so much space.

Perhaps you do not feel the same,
and that's okay if that's the case,
For I am just a simple wildflower,
longing for sweet Eros' embrace.

And if things unfold and we never know
the realization of eachother's taste,
meeting you has reignited in me,
the possibility of something great.

That love exists and despite my flaws,
despite my strangest life,
there is at least one soul who deeply knows,
the importance of the cultivation of the great silent grace.

Dreams of tantric union,
of Anarchic interplay,
they torment me for oh so long,
and cannot be erased.

Even just the words we've shared,
have elevated my soul,
I hope one day we get to meet,
instead of regretting that which we
"could have"
once known.

3D & Audio/Visual works:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCy4Lc0bpue7iw54pQlFQGkg

For a Friend:

 Ive been thinking about our conversation yesterday and trying to figure out a way to formulate my thoughts and feelings in a meaningful way. I just want to offer these words as a path of inquiry for you, a “yes and” or “what if” to the proclamations of “the world is illusion” and “everything is just a reflection of you.”

As you know I have had multiple experiences and prolonged chapters of my life where those two quoted statements were absolutely irrefutable for me… Some of them were positive and uplifting, others were horrific and terrifying…

But in each case the truth of “living in illusions” and “we are all reflections” was absolutely obvious, it was not just an intellectual thing, but a realization with one’s entire being… There have also been many times where I felt I had glimpses through illusion, and also many times of feeling -with the same certainty and conviction of the times of total connection- that I was completely disconnected, alone, an island to one’s own… Day to day, that feeling seems to be able to sway and arbitrarily settle somewhere along the spectrum of total unity and total isolation.. Is it possible for a universe to exist where both can be true? What undue suffering do we take upon ourselves by only accepting one side of that spectrum as true, and disregarding all the rest?

Two main points come to mind which may either further confuse or clarify things…

The first point, and I think the most problematic, is that everything, EVERYTHING - from our experiences of the external world, to our explorations of the inner world, all of that and everything between- happens in and is mediated by our nervous systems and brain… To even say “external world” is problematic, because all sights, sounds, tastes, all of that is created within our own skin.. It is like a frosted windowpane which colors and shapes all things… It is arguably an inescapable unity… We are always operating from within a unity(the biological being known as human), but even that unity is composed of an innumerable amount of disparate parts [ex: the human body contains more non-human cells (viruses, bacteria, etc) than human cells]

So perhaps we can think of our experience as being fueled by at least two things, all the time, simultaneously :

1. Our biological energy/ biological processing 

And
2. The energy which we receive as sense impressions from the external world… 

Both are needed to create and mediate our experiences.. Could it be that like a cocktail, the ratio of these forces may change and when they change so does the nature of our experience?

For example if our biological energy is at a higher ratio, has a greater prevalence in the mix, then everything has that unshakable flavor of unity.. But if the sensory energy is of a higher ratio, then the leading flavor is that of separation..

Now the second point, which like I said may confuse or clarify the discussion is related to the phrase, “As Above, So Below”

This one is a bit harder to formulate because it relies upon the insights bestowed upon us from a deep contemplation of the external world, and we have just explored how even calling it that is perhaps a disservice to understanding….but nonetheless!

At the very least it seems to be the case that the universe, the world, goes through changes, and the nature of those changes, despite all the intricacies, is again that of one which shifts from unity to multiplicity: the early universe seemingly spawning from a single point, expanding and transforming into many different particles and things, until those pieces re-formed into new, previously inexistent center of unity (stars, planets, etc) and then with time those centers of unity also break down creating more multiplicity… A seemingly unending set of Matryoshka dolls (those Russian dolls that have more inside them) alternating between unity and multiplicity, one nested within, and then birthing the other… it goes on and on and on…

Not one(not unity), not two (not multiplicity), that is the nature of the Non-Dual… Our minds have evolved for certainty- survival has been based on our ability to choose and exclude, to emphasize duality… but if we can now find a way to decrease the need for certainty, perhaps ironically it can lead us closer to that which is true...

7/31/2015

Perhaps we are all Icarus when it comes to love.
Each time, we think we know how close we can get to the radiance,
but each time the luminosity changes.
Solar flares, radiations rain,
and as our wings burn,
All we feel is pain.

The Clitoris is an Anarchist.

Mystery

 Never forget the ever-blossoming potentiality for mystery.
Sometimes I wonder if there are more openings and opportunities to meet the mystery, but we miss them because we have woven and wrapped ourselves in numerous layers of protection and pattern.

What do I mean by mystery?

I mean an event where you are met with something that can not be explained by the current level of our species' understanding. It helps if someone else has observed the same object or event, to be able to compare the empirical and phenomenological data.
Can you bare the terror and pain of being fully open? Can you meet the mystery?
I'll meet you there.

Wisdom-

 Wisdom is simply non-verbal understanding.
The most skilled swordsman will always lose to the most wise.
For the skilled swordsman relies on techniques and memory,
while the wise simply perceives and acts accordingly.

Submerged

 It feels like water in the lungs, but I still dont drown.

The Society Which Valued Failure

 What  would a culture that values failure as much as ours values success, look like?

Your first thought might be that it wouldnt be a culture at all, it would all just fall apart...

But think for a moment more, our emphasis on success has not eliminated the existence of failure,

why would their emphasis on failure eliminate success?

They would celebrate their failures, jubilantly orating their wayward experiments and boasting of their furthest falls. Success would still come, but it would be met with groans and eyerolling. The results would be applied, but no time or energy would be wasted in reveling in one's own success, there's no time for it, more mistakes and failures must be made!

Darko Don

 A motorcycle barrels down a side road in a suburban neighborhood as my thought process and feelings  surge with the realization of how lucky I am to have my parents. They are my guardian angels. This is not an idealization, I am painfully aware of their flaws and shortcomings, but if it were not for them, I would be under a bridge, or in a cave, or in some shithole dumpster gutter somewhere...

Working through "this".
Whatever the fuck "this" is. "This" that keeps me from being able to live like everyone else. It isnt just an injury, the injury and pain I sustain every day is but the surface of something I cannot define.
I swear I tried. I really did, but something in me fucking screams at the 9 -5 monotony. It screams in retaliation to the bullshit rat race, run in place, chase the dream that someone else sold me, con game.
The carrots which usually are enough to lure the asses, are carrots that I dont fucking care about. I tried to make myself care about them, I really did.
If I could tell you what that "this" was, I would.
If I could tell you which carrot would work for me, I would.

There is this whole notion that we must carve ourselves from stone,
or to build ourselves up,
or to choose who and what we are,
but it has never been or felt like that for me..

Sure I tried to, but it always felt like bloodly knuckles on concrete .
Instead, it has been a process of reflecting,
discarding, and discovering.
reflecting, discarding, discovering.
Reflecting. Discarding. Discovering.

Reflecting on what is present within me,

discarding that which is no longer in congruence with my current perspective,
and then discovering...

Discovering how I really feel about something.
I dont decide how I feel about it.
I can decide, but that decision is just a layer ontop of how I actually feel about something.
Those layers can be built with reason, bargaining, perspective shifts. magical thinking, religiosity, all those tools we use to change how we actually feel about something, to how we think we should feel...
it is only after we come to see and accept the foundational layers of ourselves that true change can take place.


Perhaps thats why most people burn out at 40 or 45,
they were all living by the "build ourselves up" or "carve ourselves from stone" bullshit
and so they built their layers ontop of foundations of emotions, desires, and beliefs with which they actually had no awareness of, and those feelings were in stark contrast to the lives they had built and the choices they made. The foundation shows through eventually, and when the structure atop it is not in congruence with its fundamentals...well, thats when it all comes crashing down...

I see my friends, and its already too late. We are at hour 2 of the zombie movie, and they've all got bites...
They've already put too much on the line, the ante is huge, and even though they could fold, what would they do? Its not my place to say these things to them, I'll just love them, and let nature take its due.

The Love of Alley Cats

 We were just two lost streetcats.
It must have been a storm, otherwise there would be no way for us to tolerate another being in our presence.

So close, that the echos of our hearts, though soaked in subterfuge, exchanged secrets messages against the best wishes of our minds.

The streets taught us over and over how painful it can be to trust, to dare, to love...Yet on that night we somehow found ourselves too close for comfort.

Through the discontent, our minds and bodies melted.

The storm broke, and as the morning sun came, we hissed each others names.
Hair standing straight up, backs arched, and fangs bared.

Each slowly backing away,
as if there was never a storm,
as if we had never shared that moment,
backing away to the cruel street corners from whence we came.

6/20/2015

 

To be pushed to the edge. To have all of your seams pulled and squeezed simultaneously to the point that you cannot decipher if you will explode or implode.

This is the place, the mental space where we test our mettle. Where and when we know what we are made of and what we stand for.

You never know your true potential, the depths of your essence until you are there, hip high in the middle of hell's fury, heaven's draw, and the chaos of the present moment.

Do not hide. Do not focus on the end, nor the beginning, nor things yet to be. Be present and grit your teeth. Let it in. Feel the metamorphosis of sensations rising, falling, and transmuting like waves of sand, to fire, to water, to substances unknown.

Mātariśvan

 My eyes are moths
and all the screens are flames.

I know they are blinding me,
but I cannot deny their light.

Bound and transfixed,
the screens get bigger,
the stars fade from night skies,
and the miracle of the milky way
becomes just another mystery whispered-
from an old forgotten age.

Sleight of Mind

 The ego is the left brain's greatest attempt to fool you into believing that you are it.

The secret, the answer, the truth, the solution,

these things lay not within the brain,

they are of the being.

They are in and of the body.

The answer does not come by means of mouths and words,
but by bodies, movement, feelings, openings, and experiencing.

Media Barrage

Constant sensationalism decreases our sensitivity and capacity for nuance.
The greater the distance between nuance and ourselves,
the greater the distance between ourselves and reality.

The common affliction in both the individual and the collective

 

The root of our political and social problems/conflicts

is of the same nature

as that which is the root of our personal problems/conflicts-

We increasingly rely upon top-down systems as a means of control and regulation.

For example, they are creating legislation to mandate officers do everything within their power to protect the lives of children(among other things)

"https://www.foxnews.com/.../senate-bipartisan-framework..."

This could sound like to some to be a good idea, others may have problems with the specifics of the policy, but both of these aspects are negligible when it comes to the true root of the issue. The problem is the forcing of behavior and action imposed from "above" onto all that which is "below".

If the officers of the Uvalde shooting had truly been of the community, they would have naturally rose up in the face of danger to do anything for those kids.

With the forced policy, at best, youll get officers pretending, and at worst, a growing sense of animosity from both the community and police departments.. You can't top-down force altruistic actions, it is something which arises naturally from the bottom- up. Trying to force it will only continue to create more and more cans of worms of policy and predicaments.

We do this same thing in our daily lives, within our own minds. Some of us are gentle with ourselves, but that is not the norm. One must actively learn to be gentle with themselves and unlearn their self-imposed cruelty. The truth is most of us are tyrants and villains and bullies to ourselves.. whether it be habits we have which we torture ourselves over, or a constant sense of inadequacy with our physical appearance or personality or whatever.

This pattern of top-down emphasis expresses itself through many forms in each of our lives. When we are able to be a bit more gentle with ourselves, to decrease the constant stream of top-down authority and cruelty, life starts to open up more. You start to see more possibilities-

You begin to become familiar with you,

With the gold that lays in sleep, waiting for you in the deep.

Maybe Baby

 Maybe it all will end tomorrow.
Maybe it will all go on forever.

maybe life is far more complex than we could ever imagine- let alone perceive,
maybe its far more simple than what we see.

maybe our effects on the environment are exactly what the earth needs for the future stages of development,
maybe we are just devastating everything..

maybe its all falling apart,
maybe its all coming together.

Maybe I should see a psych about depression.
Maybe depression is a gift.

Maybe everything that happens, the people around, the world at large, is a strange case of the portrait of Dorian Grey..
...Maybe not, and I'm only responsible for me.

Maybe its all bullshit,
Maybe its all true...

Maybe life is nothing but suffering,
Maybe... Just maybe..... its exactly what we need.

and perhaps, between the swaying maybes lay the dynamic dance which reveals the everything,
and maybe its just a dream.

the writing process

 Sometimes when I write,
the words come pouring,
not like a river,
but like fire and flame.

Each word, phrase, sentence-  an inferno of feelings, memories, imaginings, sensations-
all rise and pour forth from my entire being.

It comes in a wave, a rising, an ebbing, then bam bam bam,
as things start to bring themselves to a close,
I find the words I had just writ to be like coal.
They are too hot to touch, still radiating too much heat that I cannot bear the sight of them.

If I were to gaze for too long,
my mind and my ego would begin to plan and plot,
to turn and to say to me,
"oh no my dear boy, lets say it this way instead, surely it will be better received! Others will think you so smart and wise and creative!"
That's when I know it is time to stop writing.

The Silent Song

 A silent song plays in the deep,
Some days it colors things drab,
depressed, disorganized, and disheveled...

Other days it is luminous, vibrant, radiating-
vibrating with the impulse to do, to go, to dare, to achieve.

The song cares not for my mantras,
my achievements,
my failures...

For something which is so essential to my being,
it seems completely indifferent to me.

I am learning to dance on the days where the song is slow,
when everything hurts,
swollen, sullen, rigid and rough.

Where the clouds, the rain, the world going insane,
all swells together, and it just seems too much....

Learning to seize the days when the orchestra swells.
The light expands, exposes, and transforms all things,
the simple beauty, the quiet awe, the raucous laughter of friends and strangers,
passing smiles, all green lights.

A silent song plays in the deep,
Some days it drains all things drab,
and on other days it is the wind which uplifts all things.

A painter by any other name:

 "You call yourself a painter?
 You don't even make your own canvas,
 how can you call yourself a painter if you dont stretch your own canvas and build your own frame?"

So away you go,
as if possessed,
the word and title of "painter" has consumed you,
and so you learn all the techniques
and all the secrets of frame building and canvas stretching.

 "Yes yes, nice canvas,
 but how can you call yourself a "painter" when you don't even make your own paints!"
 How preposterous!"

Your face contorts to a snarl,
how COULD you call yourself a painter, when you don't even make your own paints!
Again, possessed, fixated, and single minded,
you dive into the mysteries of colors,
clays, herbs, minerals, chemicals,
your study expands and integrates a seemingly vast array of disparate domains,
but by nature of your inquiry, they all meld into one-
To be wielded in your intellectual arsenal on your path as "painter"
 

 "Your canvas is nice,
 and your paints are passable,
 but you do not grow the plants which made the paint? 
 You did not excavate your own charcoal, clay, and stone?"
 
And so you become a farmer. Just as you had unknowingly became a woodworker, a botanist, a chemist, a geologist, and others.

You sit proudly feeling you have finally done it. You ARE A PAINTER. You go to stand, but, it takes longer now. The pains and rigidity of body have grown with years. As you slowly stand, your longtime friend says,

 "This is a truly beautiful place,
  you have access to all the materials you would ever need to paint,
  but I can't help to think,
 with all this time that you have spent learning all these other disciplines and techniques... 
 A TRUE PAINTER would have discarded such interests
  and thew themselves solely into their painting.
 They would have viewed any moment not painting as a complete and utter waste of time!"

Your eye twitches.

False Seekers

 People who have not even begun to scratch the surface of the beauty and potentiality of the human body,
worry themselves and others about transformation and transcendence.

How do you expect to transcend when you do not even know what you are?
How do you know where you are going if you know not where you you came, nor the shape or length of the road before you?

Transformation and transcendence become another intellectual object which traps us in chasing and reaching. Ground. Embody. Watch as it all unfolds,

Hymn to Humanity

 let my life be a testament to the celebration of all the reasons why life is worth living.

My space, a temple sanctifying that which is easily overlooked as everyday and mundane.

Let me celebrate, let me pray. Let me honor. Let me stay. Let me play.

Tantric Insight

 Abstinence makes indulgence all the more sweet.

Simple Complexity

 there is never a single thing, which is only ever one thing.

each object and event is actually an opening-

into a myriad of harmonious contradictions,

and a milieu  of discordant affirmations.

Any object always contains within it more than what can be said in a single sentence.

Each event contains within it, not just its appearance, but also its opposite.

Beware those who tell you they love you when they clearly do not love themselves.

They will bleed you,

they will do and say whatever is necessary to deceive you.

The chasm between light and dark

 When the light is darkest,
and all seems lost.

Look beyond the foreground near-
to see what lay beyond the stars...

An incantation, demanding answers,
Only finding deafening silence,

Raging in defiance,
of the meaning of the pain,

the meaning of the loneliness.
the daily meaninglessness of the mundane reality,

Raging in defiance, to the deafening silence.

Until, a strange and meaningful coincidence,

a low-key nod,
from that intrinsic spark.

An event of rare congruence,
where pieces become more than just parts.

synergy and congruency.
discard the fakers and the false.

Those who worship the Normal

 Normality is not an identity, it is the state of being of an organism that strives for, and actively conforms to the standard expectation.

O Seeker!

Oh seekers of truth.
I bow to you.
Please hear me:
You must allow others the freedom to believe the worst of you.
Allow others to misrepresent you, to miss-perceive and misspeak of you.

The other seekers will not be swayed.
Those that matter will also know the the truth.
Stay committed and connected to your quest,
discard all the rest.

Like a fish in water... 3/14/2010

If there is anything that I've learned throughout all my life it's that perception can make or brake this life. Our consciousness organizes and categorizes on levels we are not even capable of perceiving consciously, but if we focus on how we interpret things we can allow ourselves to become free.

During one of my escapes from reality, the walls of my house had another layer just about a centimeter away from the physical wall.
This layer was like a wall of its own, but was an interconnected web of geometric shapes.
While inspecting the room I noticed that this pattern continued onto the floor covering the carpet and most other large surfaces. During the times I stopped my mind from its own wanderings, and looked upon this veil or covering, its shape would change from something pleasant to something which made my insides churn...

The shapes morphed into strange insect-like faces which filled me with fear. I found myself on my knees and I could see these horrific face-shapes on my floor squirm into my body. I watched as my veins and skin bumped in tandem with the little devils- from where it touched the floor up my arm until I could take no more.

Losing myself again in a psychedelic-fractal-thought-form.

When I came back to what could arguably be called reality, I noticed that the shapes upon the wall were back to their original shape, and happily bouncing.

This time I looked at the patterns with wonder and appreciation, understanding that it was a part of me, as much as I was a part of it. The shapes then lulled, the space in-between the lines of the shapes grew. I felt a wave of euphoria sweep across my body. The shapes then took a face-form again but this time one of a jovial nature...

For at least 6 hours this process repeated, switching each time from positive to negative. Immersed completely in the depth of each feeling. I was that feeling. Each feeling was me.

During this time. though I was submerged in illusion and believed these images to be higher beings with a consciousness of their own- I wasn't far off, but not quite on either.

For they were merely the visual projections of the mind. They are active all the time, they were visual manifestations of the algorithms of the visual processing systems. Emotion, cognition, and perception are not nearly, so neatly separated as your school books would lead you to believe...

When your brain is super-pumped, your best tool becomes your master. You cannot control the places it goes, it controls you.

THIS IS LIBERATION. liberation from the things we are taught to believe. Liberation from the false beliefs which barrage us all from birth...Liberation from the machinations and confines of your own mind.

Everyday, people do it.
They create the same scenarios,
different faces, but the same outcome,
never really thinking much of it.
The answers are always right there,
SCREAMING for your attention,
but you just speed by,
your mind just too damn preoccupied
with the comfortable thoughts its always habitually think-feel-perceiving.

I write this part as therapy for my regaining clarity, part for those who may find themselves thrown out into the great sea, but also just to share a bit of the treasures I was able to return with

Those morphing geometric face-shapes directly mirror the minds ability to morph reality. I'm not talking about psychedelic reality- I'm talking about the 9 -5 grind, the mundane, disinterested, the sober, pragmatic mind. The people and places you go, the food you eat, the place you live. Everything you need is already inside of you, its just a matter of taking responsibility, relaxing the body, the emotions, and the mind. Do not strive to live life like you are some righteous omnipotent being...

Are your brave enough and strong enough to live open, perceptive, responsive, and free from habitual programming?

This life is here for us to all enjoy it! LOVE IT! let go of your dogmatic views and do what it is you were born to do..

3-24-2010

 This universe is but one of innumerable flare-flames,
placed against impossible odds,
sustaining and expanding in the face of a
termless-
timeless-
void.

God is black,
and she is emptiness.

Suffering Starved

Strange,
how my request to no longer share our sorrows,
has brought on a deafening wall of silence.

What is to be said of a friendship that was held together
by nothing but the sharing of our mutual suffering?

3-19-2014 (2)

 

When the darkness unveils,

Light, once lost,

Shall again prevail.

And will ring out

In a chorus of common welfare.

Fear reeks and runs red,

But love, even of the smallest amount,

Shall be more than fear

Can bare.

3-19-2014

 

Forget not your spirit!

That which beats and breathes!

Forget not that which you have had,

Since your time, conceived.

It came before constructs

Of action, space, and time,

And remains with you,

Although it hides.

Forget not your soul,

In our soulless roles,

And instead hold true

To your intrinsic values.

Apart from money, from status,

From all this insane game,

Hold true to your vision!

Your heart!

Till your spirit is aflame!

The Power of Presence

When I am fully present,
with absolutely no preference,
open and aware,
only then do I become unstoppable.

The Paradox

By consciously doing the same thing each day,
I deeply change.

The Judge and Guardian of the sea

 It was as if I had suddenly found myself, locked outside of myself.

All the years, energy, and resources I had invested in my own protection,
now were the only things barricading the progression of my newfound direction.

I tried in vain to push, to break,
to sneak, to burrow,
but my security system was truly unconquerable.

And then, just by chance,
you were walking by, and met my eye.

Perhaps you too had been where I was now;
Pounding so heavily on the door to yourself,
till knuckles were bloody,
and bone spurs shot out...

Wondering in vain,
how you happened to be locked outside,
and longing so deeply to go,
to return within.
To abide and reside.

In your peace and testament to character and heart,
You shared with me how to sculpt the perfect key.

While others were selling,
only the iron for exorbitant fees, wrapped with deep religious trappings...
and in truth, they had never even made a key!

Despite all this,
despite the landscape of inexhaustible material hunger,
You compassionately shared your time, your energy, and your wisdom,
and you've helped me to sculpt my perfect key.

Enough time has passed now,
I am humbled in knowing,
there is no way I can repay you,
for something which is beyond all value.

All I hope I can do,
is to honor you.
By stopping anytime I see someone pounding on their door,
and I will give them my time,
my energy, and OUR wisdom,
so that they can also sculpt their own perfect key.

Thank you,
I am eternally thankful to you, for all you chosen to share with me.

The nature relation of Mind, Truth, Time, and life in the 3D

 The Mind always wants us to find
THE truth,
THE answer,
THE solution,
but the more one pays attention to their own mind,
the minds of others,
and the unfolding of life,
one can see quite clearly that any timeless, single truth,
is meaningless when applied to our daily lives.
It is all about half-truths,
seasons of truths,
and the interplay of a thing - and its opposite, simultaneously.

By being present, aware, and dynamic we are able to indentify the patterns and truths
that life requests of us.

What was once a salve, is now a poison. What was once a toxin,
now our only hope.

To be able to honor the requests of life, to honor the themes of the season-
to be able to recapitulate without it feeling like our foundations are crumbling, or that we are somehow stumbling.
Because in fact,
we are remaining open to adapt,
open to new paradigms.
Dynamic, responsive, aware, and exact.

3/9/2011

Time kills all things,

so sometimes,

I like to get even,

and kill a little time.

4/6/2011

 Looking outwards, its written everywhere:

The seasons,
the elliptical helical pattern of the planets,
our daily rotation of night and day;
Life, both above and below, is a string of moments guided by cycles and patterns,
and when things get real low,
remember that a new cycle is about to begin.

Truth and Mystery will always disrobe illusions of Security and Certainty

 The truth has always been far more beautiful, and far stranger,
than any fantasy concocted of shadow or light.

By spreading your bullshit,
regurgitating fantasy,
"BUT I SAW IT ON YOUTUBE"
You disrespect reality.

You spit in the face of
Geb and Nut,
Ground and sky,
Past and Present,
and all Future minds.

You dishonor the faculties gifted unto you,
at the time of your birth.

Hark and see that your fantasy only holds you back.
Reality is far grander than any performative egoistic act.

Expand your awareness,
Do not fear the mystery,
Dive in,
She longs to be seen.

Preachers of truth will never hold a flame-
To those who are perennial seekers of truth, ignoring fame.

Priests and Preachers "know"..
and they act and speak according to their dogma and preconceived bullshit.

Scientists and Mystics "know not" and are eternally refreshed by experience, what is felt, learned, loved, seen, and become.

Expand your awareness,
Do not fear the mystery,
Dive in,
She longs to be seen.
 

Hark and see that your fantasy only holds you back.
Reality is far grander than any performative egoistic act.

The truth has always been far more beautiful, and far stranger,
than any fantasy concocted of shadow or light.

2/25/2010

To not know is ignorance.
To know is illusion.

Maps do not make the territory, nor paths the landscape.

 

“The stars incline us, they do not bind us.”

― Chloe Gong, These Violent Delights

Simplicity of Seeing and Being

 If they only knew the power they have,
they'd have no need for all the elaborate pontification, posturing, pretending, or pretenses of power.
They would stand serenely in the great simplicity of their being.
They would become greater than any concocted image or fantasy which their shallowminds could conceive.

But instead, with ego at it's head,
they play these silly childish games of pretend.
Why all the gaudy displays?
Is it really just "marketing"?
I think it is something more devious,
but we are so surrounded,
that we cannot even see.

Look where our worship of marketing has gotten us.
If you expect to use the same tools of the fools who have set this world ablaze,
to save it instead,
well,
we're all as a good as dead.

There will be no Great Awakening,
There will be no Grand Reset.
We are all just repeating the same mistakes and bullshit,
Which has come and gone,
again, again, and again.

No Gods, No Kings, No Fantasy: These longings make this world a nightmare for so many. Are you Brave Enough to face reality?

How peculiar,
all these people striving to become Gods.
Proclaiming themselves Kings and Queens,
The New Royalty of the astral mysteries...

The truth is, most are not even fully human beings.
They are trapped in the machinations of the narrow linear mind.

Rinse repeat and grind grind grind.

I do not long to ascend,
why should I long for that which awaits us in death?
Why should I long for the state from which we were birthed?

I do not long to be a King or Queen,
For the true royalty are as much a slave to duty,
as any man in chains has ever been.

Fuck your fantasy,
I crave the real.
Let my teeth taste it,
and willingly let the truth destroy me,
or save me,
whichever it will be.

For I long to be fully human.
Embracing both light and dark.
Accepting the full range of emotional and mental landscapes.
To live free,
Spontaneously Authentic, in each and every moment.

Accepting the transient limitations that this dualistic playground offers us,
Yes we are non-dual,
Yes, if there is a soul, then of course it exists without limitation,
but don't you see, to even contemplate the idea of soul,
when you have not become whole, in and of yourself,
is as foolish as an ant pontificating on his theories of reality.

Do not come to me with anger and tears of this seemingly unfair uncaring world,
it is only the backdrop to your story,
your struggle.
The great narrative of ALL.

How will YOU utilize and transform the state of your life and your world?

Do not escape into emotional and fantastic longings of light,
Do not get trapped by the suffering and traps which hide in the long obscure night,

In all of history, those who have actually become fully human, could probably be counted on just one hand, maybe 2, but definitely no more than 3.

Do you realize how hard it is to be a real (hu)man?
To vaporize the layers of programming,
the false patterns imprinted on your impressionable mind?

Do you even know why you are living the way you are?
Why you believe what you believe?
The choices you make every single day?

No, you don't. Not truly, not fully.
But you can,
You can,
and you must,
until you do,
strike all longings for transformation, ascension, and whatever other bullshit feel-good-stories you clutch so vainly to.

Until you have first fully become (hu)man,
You will forever be another cog in the machine.

You were made to be sovereign.
You were born to be free.
Don't let the lies of our cultures
keep you sleeping in deceit.

You are loved,
You are worthy,
You do not need teachers,
gurus,
preachers,
drugs,
pills,
nor endless thrills.

They can certainly help or hinder,
but at their best, all they do,
is remind you,
-REMIND YOU-
of the truth,
of the direct line of truth,
which always flows through you.

Even with all the lies and programming,
it is there,
silently steady,
flowing always,
in the deep beneath.

The New Tyranny

Convenience- the silent shackles of the New Tyranny.

Emprise

Time, is the contextualization of Eternity.

Simple Paths to the Transcendental

 The Good   -   The True    -    The Beautiful  
 The Body   -   The Mind   -    The Emotions


The good, true, and beautiful are each paths to the transcendent,
the body, the mind, and the emotions are the corresponding apparatus for each path.

We know the good, by the wisdom of the body,
we know the true, by virtue of the mind,
We know the Beautiful, by the spontaneous arousal of the emotions.

Each of us has a natural inclination, a path of strength, a path of detriment.
Some may choose to pursue one and omit the others,
but my nature wont allow me such simplicity,
I long to progress upon each simultaneously.

The Noble Game

 The noblest game, is the continuous consecration of the Divine.

No leaders

 Do not follow the mind or the heart.
For there is a deeper knowing.

We do not address problems in order to have a life free of problems,
but to be able to better address future problems with finesse and mastery.

What is your goal?
Do you want a life free of pain,
OR
Do you want to address the source of your suffering?

Pain is always being processed.
It can be consciously addressed,
but is usually suppressed and repressed,
condemned down into our sub and unconscious...
All in futile attempt,
 for us to just keep going,
blindly chasing mirages of dawn.

Courageously, Consciously,
Notice the corresponding areas of your body
which either quake or activate
when a trauma, memory, or emotion
overtake your present state.

You are strong enough to face and heal your pain.
No one else can do it for you.

Our muscles are made of many layers of overlapping fibrous strands,
and in the cores of the deepest of them,
we unconsciously store our hardest experiences, our darkest pains.

If you find yourself in a strange position,
where the eyes and ears of others are longing for you to satiate their suffering...

Empower them to make their own choices, to trust their own thinking and intuition.

Do away with all notions that you have their solution.

Demand only that they track their own path and progress,
so that they can see where, when, how, and why their thinking and intuition were accurate or not.
Patience is key.
Free yourself from all ideology, but do not belittle the ideology of others. Live not by argument, but by example.

Remember that acts of kindness and charity can unintentionally cause more pain and suffering than if you were to remain neutral. Repeated charity can create weakness, reliance, and may only keep them from their own power and knowing. Conversely, acts of evil can cause a mass awakening of the light, and as history shows, repeated acts of evil, eventually become their own undoing, and even if only for awhile emboldens the power of light.  

Relax into the mystery. 

Small Steps Succeeded

Honesty sets you free from all adversity. Authenticity is not only spoken, but has many avenues for transmission and manifestation.

Your Truth may be false, it may be right, but unless you have the guts to hold it in front of you like a lantern, there is no way for you to test the power of its flame.

The further one strays from their authenticity and honesty in the moment, the more they swing and fling their lantern haphazardly. Do not take offense, but do not allow yourself to become vexed or perplexed.
Honestly, Authenticity, they are necessary for clarity.

Let the philosophers and linguists argue truths, just live it, be it,
Live Love True.

PUSH PRESENT PULL

 Novelty is that which PULLS us forward, from the future,
While habit is that which PROPELS us from the past. 

Through The Mists

What a gift Birdsong is to the ears of those who have been long lost at sea.

No Title

Stuck between ,
the push and pull,

of improvement
and acceptance.

Creation happens silently,
suspended in the nexus.

Between this path,
and another,

crossed with,
what is right,
and what may falter,

in the swaying of our shared apprehension,
lay the beat,
lay the focus,
lay the tempo of the tension.

Do not fear the nexus,
while it shifts and shimmers all around.

While it shakes and trembles
Your ground and temples,

Though you think it all will end,
this is how it has always been.

This is how progress is made,
how dreams are born,
how a man,
becomes something more.

I double dare you

 What is it you are seeking?

If all events and actions in your life were,
in defiance of time,
being pulled by something, rather than pushed by the past

If all things were coalescing toward a more complex mass,

what is the thing you seek?

You must spend time considering this thing, and giving it the freedom to become as it please

For me, it seems to be freedom and flow.

Are these two mutually exclusive?

I don't think so.

All things in life have limitation, it is inherent in the system.
We are not seeking to escape limitation, for that is both impossible and inevitable.

Therefore, we are seeking freedom and flow.
Synthesized.
Sail and wind together,
The way suburban streets punish and provide for wayward children traveling by bike,
"Can I make it up this hill?"
You are pushing that pedal so hard now and are barely moving forward,
you could simply get off the bike, walk the rest of the way up,
but no,
you have to,
you have to, you have to
You have to push!
You can't give up.
You can do this,
This dragon of a hill. The dragon your friends had tried to slay, but they came back defeated again and again.
"they won't believe you anyway, even if you do it."
You squeeze your eyes and grimace pushing all your weight onto that pedal, but now you must let it come back up, to push back down on the other.

"You can just tell them you did it. hop off here. There is no one around"
"No one can do this, and definitely not just some stupid kid."
You grit your teeth in a mad-wild-smile, and smash that left pedal down,
passing the point of zero momentum,
you now have the power to,
the motion to,
Rise.
and Flow.
So much speed now,
Standing tall.
Houses and trees blur,
The sky is yours.
You see the next hill,
larger than the last,
will you make it up,
or will you turn back?

All words, thoughts, beliefs, and systems, can and will be weaponized, ignore the noise, find the signal.

Much harm has been done with the word, "God"

When misunderstood, misconceived, or misused, "God" is simply the exaltation of Ego.

A deformed projection of our patriarchal-mammalian-monkey-minds onto the great unfathomable universal design.

Do not discard the term due to those who have abused its form.

Do not discard the term, but reinvigorate it for yourself,

What is love? From where does it come?
What is thought? Where does it go?
What is truth? Are you so sure that it is so?
Why is there anything at all?

Discard the baggage of loaded terms: love, god, truth, destiny,
Explore them for yourself,
Your senses, your mind, your heart,
let them guide you,
never let your mind be satisfied,
it will always try to box you in,
to set a term or thing as fact,
thank the mind for its insane balancing act,
but do not take it as fact.

What is love? Where does it go?
What is thought? From where has it come?
A fact is not truth, and truth has no home,
Why is there anything at all?

I hope these questions make you smile when you read them,
just as I smile when I write them.

Sailing the stream of unmanifest to dream

 God is a gift
which lays in secret,
in all things,
at all times.

It is up to us to see,
to brave the ever-shifting,
uncertain mystery-making dream.

We never pay attention to the ground of our being,
and thereby we completely miss the ground of all being.

Have you flowed in the stream from the unmanifest, to this world of ever-shifting dream?

With techniques or chemicals, you can become attuned to the hum.
almost silent at first, which then soon overruns.

God is a gift,
which lays hidden in all things.

We are so distracted by the weaving of forms,
the declaration of what is righteous or wrong,
that we never notice the silent spaces between the wars.

Alchemy of Soul

 Can you simultaneously honor your truth
and be willing to discard it as soon as life proves you wrong?

Can you balance the authenticity of your being
with the care that everyone is so desperately needing?

Love can never flow
where obligation roars.

Can you be unmovable,
yet gentle, light,
and ready to adapt
at any instant?

There is never a destination,
only an endless process,
of alchemy of soul,
of lead to gold,
the great work of separating,
and then again making whole.

The Fall of Empires and the Rise of Tribes

Exponential branching,
the distance between each reality tunnel is expanding.
If we do not expand our hearts in equal measure,
we will never know peace.

In-group || out-group
Hired corporate armies,
Newly founded exclusive crypto-countries.
Differences weighed more heavily, deadly.
Scapegoats, scapegoats, scapegoats.
Fear, anger, outrage,
when is the last time you saw a news story which wasn't based on hate?

Whether it be in 5, 50, or 500 years,
AGI is inevitable,
What will humanity do when it has made itself obsolete?
We are the wetmothers of silicon dreams,
birthing a new form of life,
from rock and iridescent crystalline.

Like the Cyanobacteria & Algae of early earth,
All they did was breathe,
unknowingly converting the atmosphere,
in ignorance, preparing this planet for our births,
billions of years before life met land.

We think we must make our stand here and now,
for god, for love, for the universe,
but all of that already stands in and through us,
Just like the Cyanobacteria and Algae of old,
Just breathe, Share love, Spread Joy, Just breathe.

We are doing it,
it takes no effort,
effort only causes stress in the slipstream,
If only we could zoom out,
it would be so clear.

Give me the words

 When one finds themselves on the pathless path,
either writ by will or circumstance,
a process begins in which you learn of yourself.

Even with humanity's ubiquitous uniqueness and iniquity,
You can see what is true for all,
just by nature of the beast and machine in which we are all involved.

Simultaneously synthesizing and deconstructing.

Bringing together the physical and energetic systems of the self,
while accurately identifying the myriad of diametric, Platonic patterns,
cascading
UP  from the fundament,
into essence, into mind, finally,
God finally,
into awareness.

Understanding how it is all you and all not you simultaneously.
Give me the words,
Give me the words
Give me the words
so the worlds can see.
And in that moment,
It will sing.
IT will sing.

A Million Reasons

 There will always be a million reasons not to do,
but all you need is one good reason, for it to be so.

UnlockYourEnlightenedHeart

 You build and cherish your enlightened mind, but it is fool's gold child.
 
Unlock your enlightened heart.

Unlock your enlightened heart.

Questions as Transformative experience

 The best questions are the ones in which answers are not warranted nor demanded, but instead, are posed in such a way that both the speaker and listener are able to track the transformations within themselves when presented with such a question.

The most powerful questions never have their answers uttered, it shocks the system like 1000micrograms of lsd, opening up experience, rather than demanding words.

questions, stories, koans, are all means of the known traversing or pointing to the unknown. Words can only take you a part of the way, the other part opens within you, wordless, featureless.

Little Mean Meme-machines

All I see are walking meme machines,
zombified,
decentralized
mini-factories, of group-think designs,
Regurgitating their favorite's teams slogans sigils and signs.
Proud, as if it were their own creations.

When is the last time you constructed a single unique thought?
That you left the time and space open for something new to announce itself and emerge?

The Alchemical formula for collective progression

As a civilization we have emphasized competition and individuality so intensely,
that we have forgotten that our true natures are actually sharing and community.

It is time, that we take time, to collect ourselves,
to then be able to return to the world,
as a true individual.
That is what differentiates a community from a mob.
One is comprised of individuals united, the other is united by the presence of others.

Look inside,
You will find it to be true.
It isn't about seeking or finding,
It is closer to remembering.
It is innate.
Clear away the detritus of your totality,
so that you can see it clearly, with ease. 

Discernment and Separation

 

Without discernment we are lost in a chaotic sea of overwhelming complexity.

...Too much discernment, and the mind convinces itself that its categories have their own physicality, creating the illusion and feeling of separation.

When discernment is practiced, and one remains vigilant of the tendency of the mind to confuse its own discernment with separation, then and only then can one come closer to seeing things as they are, with greater beauty, with greater awe, with greater respect.

So what was once an overwhelming sea,

then surveyed and processed by discernment,

briefly living in the illusion of separation,

is then re-imaged,

multifaceted, filled with ferocity and awe,

and yet no longer overwhelms.

For it is through discernment, that the pattern, the greater form can be known.

Pain is a Portal

 Pain is a portal of transformation,
which imparts new information,
to add to the amalgamation of self.

Frostbite

 Even the flower which fails to bloom,
falls back down to earth,
back within the soil,
a chance to start anew.

Sisyphus

 The synthesisability of Sisyphus becoming happy.

On Mass Formation Psychosis

Mass formation psychosis provides a framework for understanding how in the face of a novel situation, two political parties can have drastically different strategies and solutions, even when there is not sufficient data to say one way or another. While each screams and pressures to push the other out, limiting discussion, limiting/blocking research, thereby destroying possibilities for creative synergistic thinking.

The framework does a great job explaining the rise of Trump, and how/why so many people were fooled by him. I had recently been going over the work of Victor Frankls' Man Search For Meaning (his experiences in a nazi concentration camp), as well as Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn's work The Gulag Archipelago (his experiences in the forced labor camps of the soviet union) and I find Dr. Mattias's framework to do a fantastic job of explaining how both the perpetrators and victims went along with the lies, even when it meant their own demise.

Dr. Mattias Desmet is the author of the framework.

Books: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/19024766.Mattias_Desmet

Articles: https://biblio.ugent.be/person/F94DD30A-F0ED-11E1-A9DE-61C894A0A6B4

ResearchGate: https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Mattias-Desmet-2

All information and frameworks can and will be weaponized by ill-intended social actors. Discard the noise, find the signal.

You are going to hear a lot of people from all backgrounds and motives bastardizing Mattias's work to suit their own needs and agendas, and so I would like to try to provide an objective exploration and layout of the framework.

Mass Formation Psychosis is distinct from Mass Hypnosis by means of the mechanics and implications at play. In other words, although the effects of each may observably be similar, that which causes and fuels them are distinct. So too are their results.

Mass Formation Psychosis required 4 factors:

1) large numbers of individuals who feel isolated and lacking in social meaning/engagement.

2) An excess of free floating anxiety in the community at large. Free floating anxiety can be understood as a general feeling of uneasiness, without any particular object or situation with which those feelings are tied to.

3) large numbers of individuals who are unable to make sense of, understand, or come to general consensus about the world.

4) A lack of meaning, or an excess of free floating Psychological Discontent.

According to the framework, once 30% of the population meets all four criteria they are 'primed'. Once they are in their "primed" state, if an object of great anxiety appears in the environment, either naturally or by media influence (or both), then all of that free floating anxiety, uncertainty, and unrest ties itself to the object of anxiety.

The implications of this projection leads individuals to narrow their attention so much so that they lose touch with reality.

Video of Mattias giving a brief overview of the framework:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vIDh5KrLBo

Mattias's work is based upon the work of Gustav Le Bon, you can find a pdf of "The Crowd" here: https://www.files.ethz.ch/isn/125518/1414_LeBon.pdf